Hello!
Julia, you said in your blog that you were going to write like it was a letter to me. WELL. I think I'll do the same, but TO YOU. CAUSE YOU'RE MY FAITHFUL READER! Hah. Yes.
ANYWAY. I started writing a blog for BedaBuds yesterday, but then I got tired and didn't finish. BUT. I'll go back and finish it later, probably. YEAH. I don't feel like doing it right now.
BUT. I will tell you a bit about my days the last couple of days, since I haven't EXACTLY been blogging. LET'S SEE. Yesterday Eric was giving blood after work, SO I drove him to and from work (because I didn't want him to drive if he was all dizzy from lack of blood and stuff). I got there (to the place where he was giving blood), and I went in. And MAN. I don't know what was wrong with me, but seeing the blood coming out of his arm and going into that bag...BLARGH. I got a little light headed and nauseous feeling. It was WEIRD. I mean, that one time when Spencer came to me with blood on his arms, it didn't really bug me. I mean, it did because of the IMPLICATIONS (that he'd done it to himself, and I had to figure out what I was going to do about THAT), but the blood streaming from his arms? Not really a problem for me. And I've even seen my FRIENDS giving blood, and nothing HAPPENED. But something about it STRUCK me. But anyway, I told myself to GET OVER IT, and I did. Then I drove him back to his apartment. I'm glad that I DID drive him, mainly because he seemed to be really SLEEPY afterwards. Plus, I was happy to be DOING SOMETHING for him. I feel like in our relationship, I do A LOT of taking, you know? It's all about me and my needs. So it was really nice to be able to DO THINGS for him. And, you know, he seemed really GRATEFUL about it all, which made me think that I might not do enough nice things for him on a regular basis, you know? SO. That's a goal. TO DO MORE NICE THINGS. I'm enjoying attempting to fulfill this goal so far! I mean, I haven't done MUCH, but still.
And then TODAY, I had class and then SHOPPING. Tomorrow, the CSC is having a FORMAL, and I needed something to wear. I looked on Monday but did not find anything. SO. I had to go again today. BUT. I already told you a bit about shopping (the point of interest: I almost got run over by a train). SO WE CAN MOVE ON. After shopping, I didn't have a LOT of time before Eric arrived to pick me up. We hung out for a bit. It's a bit AWKWARD because he got a NEW ROOMMATE. And this new roommate tends to like to move around the apartment a lot more. AND NOT ONLY THAT, but he leaves the door to his room OPEN all the time! ANDANDAND. He's always THERE. Eric's PREVIOUS roommate mainly stuck to his room (with his door closed) and was gone a lot at night anyway because he had a second job delivering pizzas. It's something new to get used to, I suppose.
AND NOW I'm watching Taken even though I SHOULD be writing a paper. JULIA. I have TWO papers, TWO projects, ONE presentation, and ONE oral exam next week! AHHHHHH! *panics* Yeah. It's going to be a CRAZY week. But...I've been wanting to watch this movie for awhile? YEAH. And I'm going to work on my paper AS I WATCH. As soon as I finish this. And I'm finishing this now.
Goodnight!
-Leah
Friday, April 20, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
To Julia
Hello!
Julia, thanks for your comment on my last blog! It made me HAPPY because I feel like you REALLY DO GET IT. I think I AM going to continue with BEDA, but I'm going to stop obsessing about it being INTERESTING or whatever. I'll just pretend I'm talking to you directly, telling you about my day. EXCEPT then I don't get to hear about YOUR day in return (if you stop BEDA). So that's SAD. A completely one-sided conversation. BUT. If you really want to stop BEDA, you should! And we can just chat about your day through text messages or on yahoo. Or PRIVATE messages so that you don't have to feel like you're putting it all out there. YEAH.
AND YEAH. I'm totally with you on the putting feelings out there for EVERYONE to see being uncomfortable. ESPECIALLY when you KNOW that people are reading but not commenting, you know? So you feel this SILENT JUDGMENT. So I'm going to start commenting on all of your blogs, as soon as I read them. JUST SO YOU KNOW. Even BEDABuds. I'm putting an end to this nonsense where I don't reply to you until a couple of days later! I want to make our conversations MORE IMMEDIATE than that. YEAH. But that being said, it's okay if you do NOT comment on my blogs. Just...if something DOES happen to offend you, TELL ME. Not necessarily in a comment, but text me and tell me we need to have a conversation or something. THEN it can be like we're just talking and I say something to offend you, and then we talk through it and get past it. In this way, you hopefully won't develop a dislike of me like you have of Meg Cabot (although, I totally get what you mean...he twitter style is somewhat annoying...AND HER VIDEOS. AGH).
Anyway, thanks again for your comment! I MISS YOU. And I hope your internal organs are being less lame. Actually, I'm going to text you and ask you about that. YEAH.
OKAYOKAYOKAY(from the first phone conversation...haha). THANK YOU. YOU ARE AWESOME. GOODBYE.
-Leah
Julia, thanks for your comment on my last blog! It made me HAPPY because I feel like you REALLY DO GET IT. I think I AM going to continue with BEDA, but I'm going to stop obsessing about it being INTERESTING or whatever. I'll just pretend I'm talking to you directly, telling you about my day. EXCEPT then I don't get to hear about YOUR day in return (if you stop BEDA). So that's SAD. A completely one-sided conversation. BUT. If you really want to stop BEDA, you should! And we can just chat about your day through text messages or on yahoo. Or PRIVATE messages so that you don't have to feel like you're putting it all out there. YEAH.
AND YEAH. I'm totally with you on the putting feelings out there for EVERYONE to see being uncomfortable. ESPECIALLY when you KNOW that people are reading but not commenting, you know? So you feel this SILENT JUDGMENT. So I'm going to start commenting on all of your blogs, as soon as I read them. JUST SO YOU KNOW. Even BEDABuds. I'm putting an end to this nonsense where I don't reply to you until a couple of days later! I want to make our conversations MORE IMMEDIATE than that. YEAH. But that being said, it's okay if you do NOT comment on my blogs. Just...if something DOES happen to offend you, TELL ME. Not necessarily in a comment, but text me and tell me we need to have a conversation or something. THEN it can be like we're just talking and I say something to offend you, and then we talk through it and get past it. In this way, you hopefully won't develop a dislike of me like you have of Meg Cabot (although, I totally get what you mean...he twitter style is somewhat annoying...AND HER VIDEOS. AGH).
Anyway, thanks again for your comment! I MISS YOU. And I hope your internal organs are being less lame. Actually, I'm going to text you and ask you about that. YEAH.
OKAYOKAYOKAY(from the first phone conversation...haha). THANK YOU. YOU ARE AWESOME. GOODBYE.
-Leah
Monday, April 16, 2012
...
I'm thinking about QUITTING blogging. THERE, I've said it. Or written it, I guess. I mean, I definitely won't quit the collab blog. That's more like writing letters to friends or something. But THIS. I just don't know. I don't like it like I used to.
Blogging used to be a chance to be ME. To express myself in a place where, sure, people would read it, but the people reading it would be vague, distant people. There was no pressure to write the right things or make things interesting or be anything other than myself. But now. The people who read this are people that I genuinely care about. I want to impress you, engage you, not offend you, ETC. So many of my feelings are tied in with people who could possibly read this. My online friends have become more real to me than a lot of my irl friends. And I just don't know if I can DO this anymore. I write these really long paragraphs and promptly delete them because they won't convey the right message about who I am or because they might hurt someone or because they might make someone think less of me or WHATEVER. Whatever the reason, I don't like that I do it. I don't like to censor myself when blogging. But the thing is, it can't be helped when I CARE about my audience. There's a certain FREEDOM to not really KNOWING your audience. When I started BEDA back in 2009, I didn't REALLY care about anyone's opinions. I was going to go on my egotistical little rants and WHO CARES if no one liked them or liked me. And, sure, I wanted to amuse anyone who happened to peruse my posts, but it wasn't something I got UPSET about if I didn't feel like I was doing it. I was GENUINELY upset when Jaitee said that my blogs were boring. That wouldn't have been a THING in the past.
I don't know. Maybe I should continue through the rest of April. It feels wrong to just leave BEDA hanging. I guess you'll know what I decide based on whether or not I blog in the next few days.
Annnd. I deleted stuff AGAIN. Sheesh.
Oh, and also, on a happy note:I love this song at the moment.
-Leah
Blogging used to be a chance to be ME. To express myself in a place where, sure, people would read it, but the people reading it would be vague, distant people. There was no pressure to write the right things or make things interesting or be anything other than myself. But now. The people who read this are people that I genuinely care about. I want to impress you, engage you, not offend you, ETC. So many of my feelings are tied in with people who could possibly read this. My online friends have become more real to me than a lot of my irl friends. And I just don't know if I can DO this anymore. I write these really long paragraphs and promptly delete them because they won't convey the right message about who I am or because they might hurt someone or because they might make someone think less of me or WHATEVER. Whatever the reason, I don't like that I do it. I don't like to censor myself when blogging. But the thing is, it can't be helped when I CARE about my audience. There's a certain FREEDOM to not really KNOWING your audience. When I started BEDA back in 2009, I didn't REALLY care about anyone's opinions. I was going to go on my egotistical little rants and WHO CARES if no one liked them or liked me. And, sure, I wanted to amuse anyone who happened to peruse my posts, but it wasn't something I got UPSET about if I didn't feel like I was doing it. I was GENUINELY upset when Jaitee said that my blogs were boring. That wouldn't have been a THING in the past.
I don't know. Maybe I should continue through the rest of April. It feels wrong to just leave BEDA hanging. I guess you'll know what I decide based on whether or not I blog in the next few days.
Annnd. I deleted stuff AGAIN. Sheesh.
Oh, and also, on a happy note:I love this song at the moment.
-Leah
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Catch Up
Hello!
I didn't blog over the weekend. OOPS. And I don't really have too much time to blog tonight, so I'm going to do a QUICK RUNDOWN of what I did on the days that I did NOT blog (and also today).
Friday: My parents came into town to help me and my sister find a place to live. No success. The hunt continues. Eric came to eat dinner with me and my parents and sister PLUS my dad's brothers, my aunt, and my cousin. Eric's now met ALMOST everyone in my family. He only lacks my dad's mom and an aunt, uncle, and cousin. CRAZY.
After dinner, Eric and I went to Relay for Life, which is this all night fundraiser for cancer research. We didn't ACTUALLY stay all night though. Eric left at 12:30, and I left at 3:30. The walk back to my dorm was really scary. I've never walked so quickly and with such high levels of ALERTNESS.
Saturday: Slept in a bit and then went to Vol Visit at the CSC. Basically, I just ate food and talked to people, although the POINT of the day was to welcome prospective students and show them around campus and stuff. After lunch we went on an ADVENTURE to the lake for Paul the Australian's SORT OF going away party (maybe). We rode in a boat! And explored a shore! It was funny because Eric got REALLY INTO trying to FIGURE THINGS OUT. And, actually, I just looked it up and we DID figure it out. Norris Lake is actually a RESERVOIR. A dam raises the water level at certain times. We've solved the mystery of the water line!
ANYWAY. After that, Eric and I hung out for a bit and then got some dinner. AND THEN his roommate OFFICIALLY moved out (returned his key to Eric). Then we hung out some more, he dropped me off, I Internetted for a bit, and Saturday was over.
Sunday: Church in morning. Asian Kitchen with PEOPLE (I am SO SOCIAL these days) for some pho. Hung out at Eric's. I took a nap while he was PRODUCTIVE. Ate some leftovers for dinner and Eric's NEW roommate officially arrived (took key from Eric). Then we went to the CSC for church. We got there early, so we played some bachi ball (I have no idea if that's how it's spelled). Then Eric climbed a tree to get some dead limbs. It made me a BIT nervous at times, but it was also amusing. Mostly I was scared he was going to jerk too hard on a dead limb that would suddenly give way, throwing him off the tree and to the ground. BUT. That did not occur. Then we did the church thing. Eric led singing and did a good job, ESPECIALLY considering he'd been asked to lead singing earlier that evening (no time for PREPARATION). After church I went back to Eric's apartment for MORE hanging out. I actually did SOME homework this time while he was ALSO productive. WOOHOO. Then he took me back here, where I am NOW. Since being here, I've done INTERNET things and talked to Sydney and my mom on the phone.
And that concludes my account of the weekend! Sorry this is a BORING blog. I figure Julia will actually APPRECIATE the information though (since I know she ACTUALLY reads this). If Eric still reads, then he already knows all of this stuff, but OH WELL. Jaitee's not going to read it since she doesn't even read my blogs on Supernatural Slash! (hahahaha). And bridgette's BUSY. So, WHATEVER. A boring blog will do! I WILL do a bit about SOMETHING I AM THINKING before I end though. JUST CAUSE.
Thoughts: Okay, so I was talking to a friend on facebook tonight, and she's having problems with high suck levels in her life. Which, you know, sucks. But then she started going on about how whenever she tries to talk to someone about how much everything sucks, they always respond WRONG. And I don't know...it just made me think. Like, she was frustrated because oftentimes people try to offer her advice or really cliche words of comfort (you'll feel better in the morning, etc.), and she just wants people to LISTEN and to say that they care and WHATEVER. And I UNDERSTAND that feeling. I do. But the thing is, there's only so many times that you can say "that sucks" and "I'm sorry." Eventually, you feel like you should add something more meaningful to a conversation. And if you feel bad because a situation sucks, you want to try to fix it, you know? So you offer advice. Or, if you can't fix it, you want to at least comfort the person. And maybe you can't figure out the RIGHT words, so you end up saying something cliche. But, to me, the point is that what's BEHIND that is that a person cares about you, you know? They're trying to help however they can.
But MORE THAN THAT, this thing made me think that you really can't rely on people to say what you want them to say, you know? Like, I may be sitting there really needing someone to tell me something. I feel like I should make this example more specific. Okay, so I might really need some VALIDATION from Eric. But the thing is, I can't expect him to KNOW that I need that from him at that moment. If I want it, I either have to ask for it or be okay with not getting it. And if I need someone to SERIOUSLY just listen to what I'm saying without offering advice or words of comfort, I need to TELL them that that's what I need up front (although I don't think I would ever want this...I like advice and comfort). You can't just EXPECT people to be what you want them to be and then get upset when they're not, you know? And EVEN MORE than that, it's sort of...I don't know. You just can't expect people to be what you want them to be all the time. People are just people. They'll be who they are. Sometimes that will be EXACTLY what you need, and sometimes it's not enough. That's why you have to learn how to find what you need somewhere else. For me, it's in God and in myself, I guess. For other people, maybe it's in art or something. WHO KNOWS? The point is that I appreciated the reminder that I can't expect people to be more than people.ESPECIALLY because just after having this thought, I had my chat with Syd on the phone and I was SO disappointed in her response to something I said. And then I reminded myself of the thought that I'd had MOMENTS BEFORE and felt BETTER. I still didn't like her response, but I didn't let it undermine how I was feeling, I guess? SURE.
Anyway, I've rambled on LONG ENOUGH. Time for bed!
-Leah
I didn't blog over the weekend. OOPS. And I don't really have too much time to blog tonight, so I'm going to do a QUICK RUNDOWN of what I did on the days that I did NOT blog (and also today).
Friday: My parents came into town to help me and my sister find a place to live. No success. The hunt continues. Eric came to eat dinner with me and my parents and sister PLUS my dad's brothers, my aunt, and my cousin. Eric's now met ALMOST everyone in my family. He only lacks my dad's mom and an aunt, uncle, and cousin. CRAZY.
After dinner, Eric and I went to Relay for Life, which is this all night fundraiser for cancer research. We didn't ACTUALLY stay all night though. Eric left at 12:30, and I left at 3:30. The walk back to my dorm was really scary. I've never walked so quickly and with such high levels of ALERTNESS.
Saturday: Slept in a bit and then went to Vol Visit at the CSC. Basically, I just ate food and talked to people, although the POINT of the day was to welcome prospective students and show them around campus and stuff. After lunch we went on an ADVENTURE to the lake for Paul the Australian's SORT OF going away party (maybe). We rode in a boat! And explored a shore! It was funny because Eric got REALLY INTO trying to FIGURE THINGS OUT. And, actually, I just looked it up and we DID figure it out. Norris Lake is actually a RESERVOIR. A dam raises the water level at certain times. We've solved the mystery of the water line!
ANYWAY. After that, Eric and I hung out for a bit and then got some dinner. AND THEN his roommate OFFICIALLY moved out (returned his key to Eric). Then we hung out some more, he dropped me off, I Internetted for a bit, and Saturday was over.
Sunday: Church in morning. Asian Kitchen with PEOPLE (I am SO SOCIAL these days) for some pho. Hung out at Eric's. I took a nap while he was PRODUCTIVE. Ate some leftovers for dinner and Eric's NEW roommate officially arrived (took key from Eric). Then we went to the CSC for church. We got there early, so we played some bachi ball (I have no idea if that's how it's spelled). Then Eric climbed a tree to get some dead limbs. It made me a BIT nervous at times, but it was also amusing. Mostly I was scared he was going to jerk too hard on a dead limb that would suddenly give way, throwing him off the tree and to the ground. BUT. That did not occur. Then we did the church thing. Eric led singing and did a good job, ESPECIALLY considering he'd been asked to lead singing earlier that evening (no time for PREPARATION). After church I went back to Eric's apartment for MORE hanging out. I actually did SOME homework this time while he was ALSO productive. WOOHOO. Then he took me back here, where I am NOW. Since being here, I've done INTERNET things and talked to Sydney and my mom on the phone.
And that concludes my account of the weekend! Sorry this is a BORING blog. I figure Julia will actually APPRECIATE the information though (since I know she ACTUALLY reads this). If Eric still reads, then he already knows all of this stuff, but OH WELL. Jaitee's not going to read it since she doesn't even read my blogs on Supernatural Slash! (hahahaha). And bridgette's BUSY. So, WHATEVER. A boring blog will do! I WILL do a bit about SOMETHING I AM THINKING before I end though. JUST CAUSE.
Thoughts: Okay, so I was talking to a friend on facebook tonight, and she's having problems with high suck levels in her life. Which, you know, sucks. But then she started going on about how whenever she tries to talk to someone about how much everything sucks, they always respond WRONG. And I don't know...it just made me think. Like, she was frustrated because oftentimes people try to offer her advice or really cliche words of comfort (you'll feel better in the morning, etc.), and she just wants people to LISTEN and to say that they care and WHATEVER. And I UNDERSTAND that feeling. I do. But the thing is, there's only so many times that you can say "that sucks" and "I'm sorry." Eventually, you feel like you should add something more meaningful to a conversation. And if you feel bad because a situation sucks, you want to try to fix it, you know? So you offer advice. Or, if you can't fix it, you want to at least comfort the person. And maybe you can't figure out the RIGHT words, so you end up saying something cliche. But, to me, the point is that what's BEHIND that is that a person cares about you, you know? They're trying to help however they can.
But MORE THAN THAT, this thing made me think that you really can't rely on people to say what you want them to say, you know? Like, I may be sitting there really needing someone to tell me something. I feel like I should make this example more specific. Okay, so I might really need some VALIDATION from Eric. But the thing is, I can't expect him to KNOW that I need that from him at that moment. If I want it, I either have to ask for it or be okay with not getting it. And if I need someone to SERIOUSLY just listen to what I'm saying without offering advice or words of comfort, I need to TELL them that that's what I need up front (although I don't think I would ever want this...I like advice and comfort). You can't just EXPECT people to be what you want them to be and then get upset when they're not, you know? And EVEN MORE than that, it's sort of...I don't know. You just can't expect people to be what you want them to be all the time. People are just people. They'll be who they are. Sometimes that will be EXACTLY what you need, and sometimes it's not enough. That's why you have to learn how to find what you need somewhere else. For me, it's in God and in myself, I guess. For other people, maybe it's in art or something. WHO KNOWS? The point is that I appreciated the reminder that I can't expect people to be more than people.ESPECIALLY because just after having this thought, I had my chat with Syd on the phone and I was SO disappointed in her response to something I said. And then I reminded myself of the thought that I'd had MOMENTS BEFORE and felt BETTER. I still didn't like her response, but I didn't let it undermine how I was feeling, I guess? SURE.
Anyway, I've rambled on LONG ENOUGH. Time for bed!
-Leah
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
PARTS.
Hello! I'm going to do this in PARTS because I've been watching old vlogbrothers videos recently, and they do things in parts a lot.
Part 1, a bit about my day: Today I had an oral exam in Spanish. It did not go well. I got to the end of a sentence then suddenly realized I haven't learned to word for lap. This is why I would rather WRITE in Spanish. Also, Eric took today off of work, so we had some good hang out time during the day. We got to SOCIALIZE with other people at lunch at the CSC, and we got to walk around campus together (he was getting footage to do this time lapse thing he's putting in a slideshow). I sometimes get a bit sad that I don't get a chance to be with him during the day very often and that we never get to do normal college couple things like hang around campus together since he works during the day. SO it was really nice to just...DO THOSE THINGS. Yep. But then when I went to history class, he went home, and I didn't see him again until after church. SAD STUFF. But I think he had a FAIRLY good day off? I hope so.
Part 2, there is no part 2: Because when I thought about this post during the day, it made me feel a little ill. Therefore, I came back and DELETED Part 2.
Part 3, where is everyone?: By everyone, I mean Julia. She started out BEDA, but she has stopped. And I'm sad because no one else even STARTED blogging. SHEESH. WHAT HAS THIS BECOME? It's like everyone thinks it's ENOUGH that we did BEDA from 2009-2011. PSSSH.
Part 4, Fake Birthday: TOMORROW IS MY FAKE BIRTHDAY! I don't know how much of this I have told my online friends, but, basically, Eric and I are celebrating my birthday tomorrow because...we are? I told him that I didn't like that his birthday was going to be first because it meant I didn't have anything to BASE my birthday plans on...so he told me that we could do my birthday first. And, finally, he settled on tomorrow as my Fake Birthday. The plan is to go get some sushi. AND ALSO. He is giving me a gift, apparently. EXCITING.
Part 5, goodnight: GOODNIGHT!
-Leah
Part 1, a bit about my day: Today I had an oral exam in Spanish. It did not go well. I got to the end of a sentence then suddenly realized I haven't learned to word for lap. This is why I would rather WRITE in Spanish. Also, Eric took today off of work, so we had some good hang out time during the day. We got to SOCIALIZE with other people at lunch at the CSC, and we got to walk around campus together (he was getting footage to do this time lapse thing he's putting in a slideshow). I sometimes get a bit sad that I don't get a chance to be with him during the day very often and that we never get to do normal college couple things like hang around campus together since he works during the day. SO it was really nice to just...DO THOSE THINGS. Yep. But then when I went to history class, he went home, and I didn't see him again until after church. SAD STUFF. But I think he had a FAIRLY good day off? I hope so.
Part 2, there is no part 2: Because when I thought about this post during the day, it made me feel a little ill. Therefore, I came back and DELETED Part 2.
Part 3, where is everyone?: By everyone, I mean Julia. She started out BEDA, but she has stopped. And I'm sad because no one else even STARTED blogging. SHEESH. WHAT HAS THIS BECOME? It's like everyone thinks it's ENOUGH that we did BEDA from 2009-2011. PSSSH.
Part 4, Fake Birthday: TOMORROW IS MY FAKE BIRTHDAY! I don't know how much of this I have told my online friends, but, basically, Eric and I are celebrating my birthday tomorrow because...we are? I told him that I didn't like that his birthday was going to be first because it meant I didn't have anything to BASE my birthday plans on...so he told me that we could do my birthday first. And, finally, he settled on tomorrow as my Fake Birthday. The plan is to go get some sushi. AND ALSO. He is giving me a gift, apparently. EXCITING.
Part 5, goodnight: GOODNIGHT!
-Leah
Monday, April 9, 2012
Men vs. Women
Hello!
I'm going into this with NO PLAN for what to write about, which always results in my VERY BEST POSTS. OH WAIT. No, it doesn't. OH WELL.
Hmm. Today, I was RESEARCHING the differences between men and women, what men want, what women want, etc. (according to The Internet). It was QUITE interesting. Some of it was PROBABLY right, while other stuff was DEFINITELY wrong. And then pretty much ALL of the things might be true for MOST men or women but weren't necessarily true for EVERY man or woman. I'll do a list of THINGS I LEARNED and my THOUGHTS on these things.
1. Men tend to think in COMPARTMENTS while women tend to think GLOBALLY. Basically, this means that men have different boxes for work, girlfriend, home, etc., and these things don't really INTERACT in his BRAIN. Women, on the other hand, think of EVERYTHING in relation to EVERYTHING ELSE. I'd say this is true of me to a certain extent, but The Internet made it sound like all women are severely ADHD or something and can't focus on one problem at a time OR put things from their minds when they need to focus on something else. I think that's too extreme. I also think The Internet's take on the degree to which men compartmentalize is TOO MUCH. The Internet seemed to think that if they were having a fight with a lady friend, they could COMPLETELY FORGET ABOUT IT while at work and in the "work compartment" and not even remember the fight when they got home and the woman brought it up again. I'm pretty sure men aren't THAT focused on their jobs. They PROBABLY think of things OTHER than work when at work, even when they're in their "work compartment," and I'm sure stress in their personal life would cause them to be more stressed out in general and maybe even less able to handle things at work despite this "work compartment." RIGHT? Maybe not. I really don't understand much about men.
2. Men want women who are OPEN and HONEST about their feelings and clear about their wants and needs. This was INTERESTING because it made me think that maybe I'm not clear enough about my wants and needs sometimes. I DUNNO. A lot of the time I REALLY don't care, but sometimes I do KIND OF care but say that I don't. But the thing is, it all depends on HOW MUCH I care and how much I think the OTHER person cares, you know? I don't even know.
3. Women want men to be sensitive--but not TOO sensitive. Basically, The Internet was saying that women get turned off if I guy breaks down on them or whatever. I would like to note that THIS particular post was written by a MAN. Yeah. A man wrote an article about what women want. CLEARLY you should trust that source. But anyway, here is what *I* want in relation to sensitivity: I want a guy (or anyone) to be HONEST about how he feels. People should be allowed to show emotion how they want to show emotion. If they cry every time they're happy, bring on the water works. If they giggle when they're sad, that's weird, but whatever. Although if a person has these WEIRD responses to their emotions, they should also TELL me what they're feeling because these cues are all over the place. Actually, a person should tell me how they're feeling in general because I'm not always awesome at picking up on the subtleties. AND a person should tell me WHY they're feeling what they're feeling. Basically, if I care about a person, I want to know how they're feeling and why they're feeling that way so that I can lend support and help in whatever way I can, and I want the person to feel safe displaying their emotions without worrying they'll repulse me. Because that is stupid. The lesson of this point on the list: Men should not write articles about what women want.
And I'm going to end this now because Alicia just left the room, and I'd like to take the opportunity to do some work on the Sekrit Project (that is no longer a secret). Goodnight!
-Leah
I'm going into this with NO PLAN for what to write about, which always results in my VERY BEST POSTS. OH WAIT. No, it doesn't. OH WELL.
Hmm. Today, I was RESEARCHING the differences between men and women, what men want, what women want, etc. (according to The Internet). It was QUITE interesting. Some of it was PROBABLY right, while other stuff was DEFINITELY wrong. And then pretty much ALL of the things might be true for MOST men or women but weren't necessarily true for EVERY man or woman. I'll do a list of THINGS I LEARNED and my THOUGHTS on these things.
1. Men tend to think in COMPARTMENTS while women tend to think GLOBALLY. Basically, this means that men have different boxes for work, girlfriend, home, etc., and these things don't really INTERACT in his BRAIN. Women, on the other hand, think of EVERYTHING in relation to EVERYTHING ELSE. I'd say this is true of me to a certain extent, but The Internet made it sound like all women are severely ADHD or something and can't focus on one problem at a time OR put things from their minds when they need to focus on something else. I think that's too extreme. I also think The Internet's take on the degree to which men compartmentalize is TOO MUCH. The Internet seemed to think that if they were having a fight with a lady friend, they could COMPLETELY FORGET ABOUT IT while at work and in the "work compartment" and not even remember the fight when they got home and the woman brought it up again. I'm pretty sure men aren't THAT focused on their jobs. They PROBABLY think of things OTHER than work when at work, even when they're in their "work compartment," and I'm sure stress in their personal life would cause them to be more stressed out in general and maybe even less able to handle things at work despite this "work compartment." RIGHT? Maybe not. I really don't understand much about men.
2. Men want women who are OPEN and HONEST about their feelings and clear about their wants and needs. This was INTERESTING because it made me think that maybe I'm not clear enough about my wants and needs sometimes. I DUNNO. A lot of the time I REALLY don't care, but sometimes I do KIND OF care but say that I don't. But the thing is, it all depends on HOW MUCH I care and how much I think the OTHER person cares, you know? I don't even know.
3. Women want men to be sensitive--but not TOO sensitive. Basically, The Internet was saying that women get turned off if I guy breaks down on them or whatever. I would like to note that THIS particular post was written by a MAN. Yeah. A man wrote an article about what women want. CLEARLY you should trust that source. But anyway, here is what *I* want in relation to sensitivity: I want a guy (or anyone) to be HONEST about how he feels. People should be allowed to show emotion how they want to show emotion. If they cry every time they're happy, bring on the water works. If they giggle when they're sad, that's weird, but whatever. Although if a person has these WEIRD responses to their emotions, they should also TELL me what they're feeling because these cues are all over the place. Actually, a person should tell me how they're feeling in general because I'm not always awesome at picking up on the subtleties. AND a person should tell me WHY they're feeling what they're feeling. Basically, if I care about a person, I want to know how they're feeling and why they're feeling that way so that I can lend support and help in whatever way I can, and I want the person to feel safe displaying their emotions without worrying they'll repulse me. Because that is stupid. The lesson of this point on the list: Men should not write articles about what women want.
And I'm going to end this now because Alicia just left the room, and I'd like to take the opportunity to do some work on the Sekrit Project (that is no longer a secret). Goodnight!
-Leah
Sunday, April 8, 2012
A Survey for a Sunday
HAPPY EASTER!
I'm doing a SURVEY today because it's a SUNDAY, so that's allowed. I stole this survey from Julia's blog...thanks, Julia! I'm always stealing surveys from you.
What is on your bed right now?
*looks* Eric's jacket (which I will EVENTUALLY give back...maybe), lots of blankets, a pillow, my sleep mask, Pinky, Mr. Pig, and Sandy.
When was the last time you threw up?
Hmm...I do not remember. I DO NOT WANT TO REMEMBER.
What's your favorite word or phrase?
I don't think I have one. I say, "I don't know," a lot.
Name 3 people who made you smile today?
Eric, my mom, and Alicia.
What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Waking up, looking at the clock, and thinking, "YOU STILL HAVE OVER AN HOUR FOR SLEEPING! SO DO THAT!"
What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Saying goodnight to Eric.
What is your favorite holiday?
I feel bad NOT saying Easter since today IS Easter. It's a good holiday. I pretty much like ANY holiday that gets the family together.
Have you ever been to another country?
Yep!
What is the last thing you said aloud?
Hmm. I think I said, "See you later" or something along those lines to Alicia when she left with Nathanael Rutherford.
What is the best ice cream flavor?
I'm with Julia: CHOCOLATE.
What was the last thing you had to drink?
Some delicious tea.
What are you wearing right now?
Jim jams and my UNCOMFORTABLE top from today. Plus a hoodie. I'll change the top half to a tshirt and Eric's jacket after I finish this survey though.
What was the last thing you ate?
Some skittles! JUST A SECOND AGO.
Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Maybe? I don't THINK so.
When was the last time you ran?
I think I ran up the stairs this morning. Or at least I MOVED SWIFTLY. It totally counts.
What's the last sporting event you watched?
I DO NOT KNOW. I think basketball was on for a second at my grandparents' house, so I'll go with that.
If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
I'm good here for now, actually.
Ever go camping?
YES. It was TERRIBLE. NEVER AGAIN. I REFUSE.
What is your guilty pleasure?
I tend to watch really horrible movies and read really horrible books and stuff. Stuff that is FUN but does nothing to improve me INTELLECTUALLY or whatever.
Do you use smiley faces on the computer alot?
I used to NOT, but lately I have been a lot. It's an easy way to show HOW you're saying something.
Do you drink your soda from a straw?
Sometimes. I prefer it that way, but I don't ALWAYS.
What did your last text message say?
From twitter: "@maureenjohnson: Okay. Okay. I must stop. I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE. *eyes more tweets*
Are you someone's best friend?
PERHAPS. Maybe. Actually, I AM NOT SURE.
What are you doing tomorrow?
The plan is to wake up early, cram for my Spanish test, take my Spanish test, maybe eat some breakfast, DO THINGS, eat lunch, DO MORE THINGS, go to history class, DO THINGS, go to Bible study, hang out with Eric, maybe DO MORE THINGS, and then go to sleep.
Where is your mom right now?
I don't know! At home, I guess.
Look to your left, what do you see?
My bed.
What color is your watch?
I don't know where it is, but it's black.
What do you think of when you think of Australia?
The Tomorrow series and Dr. Paul
Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
YES.
What is your birthstone?
Uhh...pearl? MAYBE.
Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive tthru?
It depends on how long the line is and on the state of the windows (of the vehicle I'm in). Like, in my car, the windows tend to GET STUCK when they're rolled down. It makes me NERVOUS, so I might go in. But in ALICIA'S car, I can go through the drive thru without fear! BUT. I do go in if the drive thru line is SUPER LONG because it's sometimes faster. Especially at Chick-Fil-A, in my experience.
Do you have a dog?
Yes, but he doesn't usually live with me.
Last person you talked to on the phone?
Eric. He was letting me know when he'd be arriving to pick me up.
Any plans today?
Finish this survey, unpack, and study for Spanish test.
Are you happy?
Yes.
Where are you right now?
Dorm room. COLD, COLD dorm room. Seriously, it's FREEZING in here. It makes me want to GET IN BED and GO TO SLEEP. But I CANNOT because I still haven't even STARTED studying for my Spanish test that is TOMORROW at 9:05! SHEESH.
Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
This is going to be PREDICTABLE, but MY SPANISH TEST. Why would they have one the Monday after Easter? Don't they know everyone goes home and that no one studies at home? DO THEY NOT KNOW?!
Last song listened to?
"Steps" by Orla Gartland. It's AWESOME. In my opinion.
Last movie you saw?
I guess it was Hot Fuzz. GOOD MOVIE.
Are you allergic to anything?
Sweet potatoes. SORT OF.
Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
My tennis shoes are on my feet pretty often. I also like flip flops because they're so EASY, but they're not practical for year-round use.
Are you jealous of anyone?
I don't think so?
Are you married?
No.
Is anyone jealous of you?
Not that I'm aware of.
Do any of your friends have children?
Yes. None of my VERY close ones though.
Do you eat healthy?
Hah. No.
What do you usually do during the day?
Class, procrastinate, eat, etc.
Do you hate anyone right now?
NOPE.
Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
Yes. Why wouldn't I?
How many kids do you want when you're older?
I think 3 would be nice, but that's probably just because I grew up in a family with three kids. BUT. I have REASONING, too. One is NOT GOOD because it just seems LONELY. Two's not good because...it's not? And three is good because they can all be friends, and stuff! Four is TOO MANY. Although if it WORKED OUT BEST to have four, I'd go for it. Like, if I'd had two kids around the same time and then waited for a long time to have the third, then I'd have a fourth to keep the third company. YOU KNOW?
How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
22.
Have you ever been to Six Flags?
NO. What a failing!
How did u get one of your scars?
A bone went through the skin a little bit. Ooooooh.
AND THAT COMPLETES TODAYS SURVEY. WOOHOO.
-Leah
I'm doing a SURVEY today because it's a SUNDAY, so that's allowed. I stole this survey from Julia's blog...thanks, Julia! I'm always stealing surveys from you.
What is on your bed right now?
*looks* Eric's jacket (which I will EVENTUALLY give back...maybe), lots of blankets, a pillow, my sleep mask, Pinky, Mr. Pig, and Sandy.
When was the last time you threw up?
Hmm...I do not remember. I DO NOT WANT TO REMEMBER.
What's your favorite word or phrase?
I don't think I have one. I say, "I don't know," a lot.
Name 3 people who made you smile today?
Eric, my mom, and Alicia.
What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Waking up, looking at the clock, and thinking, "YOU STILL HAVE OVER AN HOUR FOR SLEEPING! SO DO THAT!"
What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Saying goodnight to Eric.
What is your favorite holiday?
I feel bad NOT saying Easter since today IS Easter. It's a good holiday. I pretty much like ANY holiday that gets the family together.
Have you ever been to another country?
Yep!
What is the last thing you said aloud?
Hmm. I think I said, "See you later" or something along those lines to Alicia when she left with Nathanael Rutherford.
What is the best ice cream flavor?
I'm with Julia: CHOCOLATE.
What was the last thing you had to drink?
Some delicious tea.
What are you wearing right now?
Jim jams and my UNCOMFORTABLE top from today. Plus a hoodie. I'll change the top half to a tshirt and Eric's jacket after I finish this survey though.
What was the last thing you ate?
Some skittles! JUST A SECOND AGO.
Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Maybe? I don't THINK so.
When was the last time you ran?
I think I ran up the stairs this morning. Or at least I MOVED SWIFTLY. It totally counts.
What's the last sporting event you watched?
I DO NOT KNOW. I think basketball was on for a second at my grandparents' house, so I'll go with that.
If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
I'm good here for now, actually.
Ever go camping?
YES. It was TERRIBLE. NEVER AGAIN. I REFUSE.
What is your guilty pleasure?
I tend to watch really horrible movies and read really horrible books and stuff. Stuff that is FUN but does nothing to improve me INTELLECTUALLY or whatever.
Do you use smiley faces on the computer alot?
I used to NOT, but lately I have been a lot. It's an easy way to show HOW you're saying something.
Do you drink your soda from a straw?
Sometimes. I prefer it that way, but I don't ALWAYS.
What did your last text message say?
From twitter: "@maureenjohnson: Okay. Okay. I must stop. I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE. *eyes more tweets*
Are you someone's best friend?
PERHAPS. Maybe. Actually, I AM NOT SURE.
What are you doing tomorrow?
The plan is to wake up early, cram for my Spanish test, take my Spanish test, maybe eat some breakfast, DO THINGS, eat lunch, DO MORE THINGS, go to history class, DO THINGS, go to Bible study, hang out with Eric, maybe DO MORE THINGS, and then go to sleep.
Where is your mom right now?
I don't know! At home, I guess.
Look to your left, what do you see?
My bed.
What color is your watch?
I don't know where it is, but it's black.
What do you think of when you think of Australia?
The Tomorrow series and Dr. Paul
Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
YES.
What is your birthstone?
Uhh...pearl? MAYBE.
Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive tthru?
It depends on how long the line is and on the state of the windows (of the vehicle I'm in). Like, in my car, the windows tend to GET STUCK when they're rolled down. It makes me NERVOUS, so I might go in. But in ALICIA'S car, I can go through the drive thru without fear! BUT. I do go in if the drive thru line is SUPER LONG because it's sometimes faster. Especially at Chick-Fil-A, in my experience.
Do you have a dog?
Yes, but he doesn't usually live with me.
Last person you talked to on the phone?
Eric. He was letting me know when he'd be arriving to pick me up.
Any plans today?
Finish this survey, unpack, and study for Spanish test.
Are you happy?
Yes.
Where are you right now?
Dorm room. COLD, COLD dorm room. Seriously, it's FREEZING in here. It makes me want to GET IN BED and GO TO SLEEP. But I CANNOT because I still haven't even STARTED studying for my Spanish test that is TOMORROW at 9:05! SHEESH.
Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
This is going to be PREDICTABLE, but MY SPANISH TEST. Why would they have one the Monday after Easter? Don't they know everyone goes home and that no one studies at home? DO THEY NOT KNOW?!
Last song listened to?
"Steps" by Orla Gartland. It's AWESOME. In my opinion.
Last movie you saw?
I guess it was Hot Fuzz. GOOD MOVIE.
Are you allergic to anything?
Sweet potatoes. SORT OF.
Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
My tennis shoes are on my feet pretty often. I also like flip flops because they're so EASY, but they're not practical for year-round use.
Are you jealous of anyone?
I don't think so?
Are you married?
No.
Is anyone jealous of you?
Not that I'm aware of.
Do any of your friends have children?
Yes. None of my VERY close ones though.
Do you eat healthy?
Hah. No.
What do you usually do during the day?
Class, procrastinate, eat, etc.
Do you hate anyone right now?
NOPE.
Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
Yes. Why wouldn't I?
How many kids do you want when you're older?
I think 3 would be nice, but that's probably just because I grew up in a family with three kids. BUT. I have REASONING, too. One is NOT GOOD because it just seems LONELY. Two's not good because...it's not? And three is good because they can all be friends, and stuff! Four is TOO MANY. Although if it WORKED OUT BEST to have four, I'd go for it. Like, if I'd had two kids around the same time and then waited for a long time to have the third, then I'd have a fourth to keep the third company. YOU KNOW?
How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
22.
Have you ever been to Six Flags?
NO. What a failing!
How did u get one of your scars?
A bone went through the skin a little bit. Ooooooh.
AND THAT COMPLETES TODAYS SURVEY. WOOHOO.
-Leah
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